Coach Real Talk with Lizy

Lizy.jpg

This story has taken me time to write, I will admit. Facing some of your saddest and most challenging days is not easy but here it is.

Growing up, thinking of becoming a mother and creating a human life is what most woman dream of. For me, it was no different.

I was 18 when I fell pregnant for the first time. Young, in love and engaged. I found out at 8 weeks, having my first ultrasound. Seeing that tiny little blimp for the very first time and hearing that little heartbeat was magic. I found out that day that I had actually been pregnant with twins. One of the babies didn’t grow and dissolved back into the wall of my uterus. I was blessed with one growing babe.

As the weeks went on and I hit the 3-month trimester, I thought that my morning sickness would finally stop when I suddenly started to experience severe abdominal pains. In that moment, I took myself to the hospital. The doctors advised me that it was just my bodies way of coping with the lost baby and sent me home on some pain killers. The pain did not subside. My mum called my doctor who was shocked that I had been sent home and instructed me to go back to the hospital immediately. 

The pain was intense now, on and off. I laid there, paralysed in fear. Fear of the unknown. It wasn’t long until my mum walked back in to see me with tears in her eyes. I knew I had lost the baby. My heart broke. The doctor asked if we would like to meet her. There she was, a beautiful tiny angel, no bigger than the size of my hand. My little girl.

The aftermath was hard. Fearful thoughts filled my head. Was I ever going to become a mother? Was there something wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? I spiraled into a dark world where I just wanted to escape to be with my babies in peace.

My partner at the time helped me through this immensely. He assured me, that I would be okay. That things would be okay. And they were.  A few months later I was pregnant again! I had so many doubts. I was overwhelmed with fear. I could not go through that again. Fast forward 9 months and nearly 18 months of being pregnant…a beautiful little boy lay in my arms. He was healthy and could not have been any more perfect!

My whole life has changed forever.

Love Lizy XO

Nerida BintComment